Week 15: Little Heartbeat

Today we had our second prenatal visit. The OB definitely wasn't as nuturing as the first one we met with. But we didn't really care because -- we got to hear our baby's heartbeat!!!!! It was so great and so reassuring to hear our little one's strong little heart beating inside of me. It still seems so unreal!!! It made all of the discomfort so worth it. I can not wait to meet our little peanut;) Everything else looks good. Next time we go to the doctor we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby!!! How very exciting.

~ T

Week 15: Soooooooo tired....and kinda fat

So I feel like a zombie half the time. Sleep is definitely my best friend. I am sooo grafteful that I am able to stay home right now. But we're leaving San Diego in 11 days so I've been packing and that is just plain draining. Moving stinks under normal conditions, but is really miserable now that I'm pregnant. But the good news is that I'm feeling more pregnant by the day. My little belly is starting to pop out a bit below my belly button. Hopefully by the end of this month I will be noticeably pregnant instead of noticeably fat. I am 146 pounds right now, which is 12 pounds more than I have ever been during my entire life. But I keep reminding myself of the purpose of those extra pounds. Plus, Chris has been awesome about telling me how beautiful I look even when I feel like crap run over twice.

The new thing that I have and am sorta excited about (strangely) is the appearance of the linea nigra, otherwise known as that strange dark line that is the badge of pregnant bellies. At this point, I'm happy for any observable reminder of being pregnant besides all of the discomfort. So I have my little badge, however faint, but mine nonetheless. It runs slightly above the belly button which old wives tales say means we're having a baby boy. At this point, I have had numerous dreams about it being a boy. Plus, my mom bought all of the bed sheets for a baby boy. Soooo....thinking its a boy. But in the end it doesn't matter because he or she will be the light of our lives regardless. I still can't believe in a little over 6 months our little one will be here and our lives will be forever changed.

We have our second prenatal visit tomorrow!!! I am super excited to find out how everything is progessing. Generally, I am just happy, tired, excited, tired....but sometimes the anxiety and fear does creep in. Is the baby alright? Is everything progressing as it should? The strange thing about pregnancy is that symptoms that would normally be alarming (back pain, cramps, hip pain...the list goes on) are signs that everything is going as it should. So it can be difficult not to get worried by apparently innocuous symptoms. Prayer really gets me through those times because I truly believe this baby is a gift from God and all a part of his grand plan for our lives. I know our baby is blessed and will be perfect and healthy. Until next time...

~ Talia

Week 12: Moving forward.....

Yesterday was my 3 month mark!! So happy to be saying good-bye to the 1st trimester! They say the second trimester is supposed to be the best. Hopefully good bye are the days of being exhausted, the pimples, serious bloating, queasiness and all of those other unpleasantries associated with the first trimester. I'm definitely excited to get bigger with baby! I can't wait to look down and have constant proof of the beautiful miracle inside of me. Plus, I've always looked forward to being pregnant. I think pregnant women are always so beautiful and radiant. Right now, I definitely don't feel so beautiful and radiant on the outside. But I'm so amazed at what is happening inside of me that I can't help but feel a bit like super woman.

Everything is starting to come together for our move back and I really can't wait to be back on the east coast for the fall. Don't even get me started on the holidays! They are going to be extra full of joy and blessings this year. Little Tristan is so loved already!

~ T

Week 12: The first trimester coming to a close....

I feel like I just found out about the pregnancy and here it is already that the first trimester is coming to a close. I'm pretty excited because the risk of miscarriage reduces greatly now and I'm just ready to start looking more pregnant (like I feel)! We've also told everyone close to us and even people who aren't all that close to us (thanks to Chris who wants to shout it from the rooftops). I'm kind of obsessed right not with fetal development. It is the most miraculous thing to create and then nuture life. Everyday I learn something new about the miracle that is going on inside of me.

So I've had 3 dreams now that the baby is going to be a boy. Two nights ago I had a dream that I was breast feeding him and it was so sweet. I was sad when I woke up because that feeling of closeness was gone. It made me even more excited to meet our little prince/princess. I also can not wait until we find out the sex (another obsession) because there is so much shopping I want to do.

Right now we're in a state of transition as we look to move back to the east coast. Of course that means there is a ton of things for me to worry about! But I thought about how I just expect and know that my earthly parents will be there for me during this time and that I must have the same faith that the Lord will get us through this time. I pray often thanking God for the precious miracle inside of me and I know that everything will be alright. We are truly blessed.

Week 11: Meeting baby.....

Yesterday we met our little one for the first time. It was the most amazing relief to see the baby being active and the little heart beating. For the past week or so I had been feeling anxious and worried about the viability of the pregnancy. All of which I read was normal. But then to see the baby in there doing great and even crossing his or her little feet was like having all of that weight lifted. And all that was left was pure joy!!! We were elated.

I always thought I would cry but I was so amazed and stunned at the little miracle that all I could do was stare open mouthed. Chris too was in complete awe at what he was witnessing. I can't wait until I can actually feel the baby moving inside of me, reminding me of his or her daily presence.

The other shocker is that I am 10 weeks, well almost 11 actually. My due date is March 11, 2010. It was funny because the doctor warned us that the baby would look very small but then she was like "whoa that is a big baby, I think you're further along that that!" And sure enough I am! I am actually happy because the first trimester can be so scary. I'm ready to get big and be jolly with pregnancy. Plus, risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced once out of the first trimester and once a heartbeat is observed. But now I'm feeling great and know that this is going to be special pregnancy. I mean how lucky can I be that I missed the horror that is morning sickness?! I still feel a bit queasy at times, but nothing major. Eating small means (ok maybe some not so small) frequently has really helped me. Plus, besides being like 10 pounds away from my ideal weight, when we conceived I was in good shape so I think that might have helped too. I was worried because my mother had such a hard time with being sick and then with the birth of me and my sister. But now I know that path is not mine and I have this wonderful feeling that my pregnancy is going to be cake;)

Week 10: The full range of emotions...

It's been 19 days since I first took a pregnancy test and discovered that we have a baby on board! Which according to previous estimates puts me at about 8-10 weeks. I think the initial shock is gone but the whole experience is still so unreal, abstract almost. I constantly look at pregnancy magazines or read books to make it more real. This is really happening to us!! Emotionally I have experienced everything from extreme joy to anxiety. But I am trying to let each emotion come and not hold back. This is a time of some of the greatest changes in our lives, all at once no less, and so I know with that comes the full range of emotions.

 

We have also decided to move back east. While I am sad to say good bye to beautiful San Diego, we realize that we just don't have the support we need out here as far as family is concerned. While we love our friends, we also want to have family close by. Plus, the west coast has just never truly felt like home to us. So we now have the very big task of planning a move back. Definitely stressful but I keep picturing the cute little apartment we'll have with the nursury and the great job I will get. And I hope I passed the bar! I know I did because we believe that this is all a part of God's devine plan.

 

So reflecting back on the past 2 and 1/2 weeks.....we found out the day before the 6 month anniversary of Kaiya's passing. We went to the doctor on the actual day and I was so happy to be celebrating this amazing news instead of being sad. I really think this is a sign from her letting us know everything will be alright. I only wish she was here with us. Two days later, I took the bar which was brutal. But I think I remained focused and now have put that behind me. Only moving forward and trying not to look back. I turned 30 and then we went to Hawaii. We had such a wonderful time and just kept saying how crazy it will be that next time we take a big vacation we'll have our baby with us!!! Now we're back and starting to plan our move home.

 

We also decided on the name - Tristan David for a boy or Trystan for a girl. Middle name not yet decided. I also feel my uterus getting bigger and have gained about 6 pounds, which is a little bit too much for the first trimester. Some of it is bar weight I am sure. I'm hoping that I will stay within the recommended 35 pound weight gain range. But I also understand that I need to let my body do what it needs to to support our baby. Haven't had the urge at all to drink wine or coffee for that matter. I am back on track with trying to eat good food instead of junk food. Other physical/emotional symptoms include:

• hunger every two hours, its a hunger like I have never experienced before
• gas (yuck)  
• bloating  
• breast tenderness and enlargement (whoo hoo!)  
• minimal nausea (double whoo hoo!)
• exhaustion coupled with an inability to sleep for more than 6 or 7 hours (again because of the hunger pangs)
• breaking out and can't do anything about it!
• some irritability
• anxiety, especially when I think about the move and complications of pregnancy
• elation, excitement, joy, disbelief, and just all around happiness

Stay tuned!!!